Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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