8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
