I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
