What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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