I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
