I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
