And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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