Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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