Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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