your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
