Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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