Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
