Cold hands, warm shart.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
