the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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