he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize