Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
wow bdsm is so cute
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
