Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
