oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
