Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
