After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
