I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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