No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
