I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
