what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
