her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
