We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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