i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
