i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
