after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
