i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
