my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize