Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
