I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize