Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
