Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My dick has a subreddit
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
