thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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