I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
