Sry I called you an 8
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you had me at cake vodka
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
