So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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