Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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