It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think i have two assholes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
