My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he thought i was a dude.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
