Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
