You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
