I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize