The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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