i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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