if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
