yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
