Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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