best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
