Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize