I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize