Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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