Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
