so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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