Betty ford says i'm here all night
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Fuck appropriateness.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
