WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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