Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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