party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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