Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
