she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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