all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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