just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize