Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
