Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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