The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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