Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
