yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
there is glitter all over my balls
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