so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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